Amy,
Army Legal may be able to help with stepparent adoption, you'd want to check with them. That's usually the extent of it. Domestic parental placement is very state-specific law, and typically Army Legal Aid attorneys are licensed in A state, but it may not be the state you're living in.
We used an agency and also did our own networking to adopt. We did do advertising and networking. Our son was born in another state - Texas - we lived in Virginia. So our attorney fees were a bit higher - total of about $6,000 as there were a total of four attorneys involved (our VA attorney, our TX attorney, bparents TX attorney and the
guardian ad lietum for Ryan). We elected to pay for them to have separate representation to ensure all went well.
I think if you'd like to make a photo album it couldn't hurt. As far as dinner - check with your attorney - make sure it isn't someplace extravagent or super-expensive, keep a receipt and be sure to send the receipt copy to your attorney for recordkeeping. Expensive or extravagent dinners can be viewed as an attempt to influence. We were fine with dinners as long as they were 'reasonable' - like Applebee's or Lone Star Steakhouse.
Feel free to PM, I'll help where I can.
Regina