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What a difficult position you are in. It highlights theh complexities of adoption, full stop, but the added issues when it is a family adoption. It's a pity your parents could not have raised your son without legally adopting him!!
Anyway, what is done is done. He views your Mother as his mother. He views you as his sister, even though it sounds as if you weren't really 'raised' together. How confusing for you both. Titles and terms are really just that.
It may be worth focusing on the 'relationship', rather than the 'title'.
You really need to have a discussion with your son about these issues in a mature and tactful way (hard, I know, when your heart and body are identifying as his mother, and he's thinking 'sister). You really need to listen to him, put his needs/feelings first, and be sensitive to him. To do otherwise may threaten the long term sustainability of your relationship with him.
Time is an amazing factor in changing and developing relationships. Take time to love him and get to know him. Same when his child arrives, just love the child, don't worry about titles at this point in time. They will develop. Develop the relationship first.
Good luck and big hugs. I know how painful this journey can be and how hard it is to wait.
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