[julie23]

I have a question for adoptee's....

I was reunited with my daughter last may. I was not what she expected her birthmother to be.

She expected an alcoholic.... tooth missing... dysfunctional.... homeless birthmom... from whom she was SAVED.

She found a functional mother of three....living in a decent home in a decent neighborhood....

she found a mother who teaches sunday school... is the girl scout troop leader.... ADORES her girls.... goes hiking... camping.... takes the kids to museums and amusement parks.... lives in a nice home... and is extremely close to her daughters.

she found NOTHING she expected....

(I use the word found loosely.... she didn't search for me... I sent a letter that unexpectedly reached her.... I thought the adoptive parents would get it... but through a twist of fate... she got it.)

I am a non-confrontational personality... and after hours on these forums... I thought I had "learned" what to say and what not to say...

I was very careful...

well... she stopped answering emails or phone calls....

she insisted she wanted "updates" on our family.... which I kept sending....

after being reunited... and thinking that she wanted to develop a relationship.... I put photo's of her in frames and displayed them all over my home.

she is my precious daughter..... the one I had "lost" the one who i had desperately wanted.... but "they" told me I could not keep....

she is the daughter I had always missed... the daughter that I didn't know what she looked like...

It was utter agony living a life... where I KNEW I could sit by my OWN daughter on a bus and not KNOW it was her.

I cherished EVERY photo I had of her.

I put them in frames and put them right next to the millions of photos I have of my daughters.

but she doesn't want to be in our lives anymore....

we had a party last night... it was for my husbands work.... for all the people who work for him...

as she has not responded to contact in about four months.... I decided to take down all the photo's.

why should I have them up if she does not want us?

why should I have to be faced with judgement and condemnation if she does not want to be a part of our lives?

why doesn't she want us?