• Waiting children are those with many, many special needs who may have had much difficulty being placed by their caseworker.
* Many have 1 or more failed adoptions or failed pre-adoptive placements (meaning the child was more than they were capable of handling once he/she got there.)
• We did an interstate that went horribly wrong. So much undisclosed info,
• With any kind of adoptive situation (with wards of the state) there needs to be someone who will supervise (usually a caseworker or social worker) the pre-adopt placement, make sure all is well and then recommend to the court that adoption is the final step. I believe the only time you can get around NOT using a supervisor is if it is a private (pre-arranged) or relative adoption (but only if the child is not a ward of the state. You will not find these children on "waiting kids" listings.
• Yes, there are many, many more children than you will ever see listed on sites like
www.adoptuskids.org. Most states only list the children that have been waiting the longest or who they are having great difficulty placing.
• You will need a professional to help you through all of this. You as a cold-calling adoptive parent will never get enough solid information on a child to make an educated decision on whether this child is a match with your family. The caseworkers and social workers know what questions to ask and what are the red flags.
• I am fairly certain that adoption facilitators are only used in cases of private and pre-arranged adoptions of infants. Adoption of an older child is going to be a child in state's custody which is a whole nother world.
• Then you will want to specify if you are willing to do "legal risk" (parents rights are in the process of termination but not final) or TPR (parents rights are already terminated). Either way, these kids have been through a lot to get to this point. The system is verrrrrrrrrrrrrry, verrrrrrrrrry slow.
• Kids with special needs are the ones you will see posted. Kids who have faired well in their foster homes are more times than not adopted by those homes and if they are a good foster home (bonding has occured to some degree, etc), they usually have first rights before the children are available to other families for consideration.
* I would suggest finding an agency that is willing to do both in-state and out-of-state adoptions. That gives you the most options. If you are matched with a child in state, there is no cost to you. If you choose to go out of state, you will pay the fees set by the agencies. One tip: county agencies will not do out of state, their priorities are kids in-state only. You will need a private agency most likely. But you need to ask what they specialize in so that they can provide post-placement support if you need it.
I know its so confusing, but I hope this helps a little.