Thanks everyone for your input and advice. I appreciate the time it takes to respond to these posts, especially to include outside info and resources. I admire the expertise that we find on these boards that come directly from our own experiences.
But, I guess I didnt make myself all that clear, and/or there is no clear cut answer to my specific question.
I do all the things that you suggested, as well as include what the attaching in adoption books suggest (Daniel Hughes, Deborah Gray, Holding Time, Toddler Adoption etc etc)
I am a SAHM so Im home all day with the children, and throughout the day we do all kinds of the attachment stuff, and I do hold my daughter almost constantly.
I get down on the floor and play with them in 15-20 minute incriments throughout the whole day, I rock each of them separately before nap and bedtime (and thats after reading 2-3 books while sitting on my lap), I massage them, rub their backs, I kiss, cuddle and hug a million times through the day, I make sure to talk softly and smile often, I give them loving eye contact, we stay home a lot of the time, I give them special kitchen toys and their own drawer while Im cooking in the kitchen, we play peek a boo and hide and seek, they are free to be in the bathroom with me while we all brush our teeth, wash up.....they sit on my bed while I get dressed, every meal we sit close and face each other while I feed them, I use sign language with them.....
You get the point. Sorry to go on and on, but I can recite attachment stuff like there is no tomorrow!
I guess I was looking for something like, "well, IF AFTER DOING ALL THE ABOVE STUFF CONSISTENTLY but at times you need to get dinner finished, or you need to brush your teeth to get out the door..... but your daughter insists on being held, then 2 out of 3 times induldge her in this, but the 1 time let her get over it knowing you are right there for her....."
or "pick her up, give her a kiss, then put her back down again and keep repeating every minute or so...."
As a matter of fact, maybe I will try my own last two suggestions!
