[KimOH]

We just got back from Russia with our 17-month old daughter. Our son, adopted at 12 months of age in 2001, was just a few days shy of 5 years old when we returned.

I had talked to other people who had brought home number 2. They told me to expect the first six months to be pretty tough. The new baby will be in "survival mode" and the older child will be viewed as competition. The older child might slip back into survival mode...or, if there were any attachment issues, they might be magnified. (I was worried about this. Although I think my son is "attached" he gets uncomfortable if he doesn't know where you are/what the plan is.)

Like your DS, my DS was very excited about the prospect of a sibling. Also like your DS, my DS was convinced it would be a boy. When we got the referral for a little girl, my DS's first reaction was "A girl?! Now I'm mad!" (We came to find out, DS wanted to be the "big brother". For some reason, he though he only got to be the big brother if he had a little brother. He thought he had to be the big sister if he had a little sister...and he didn't want that. Once we told him that he got to be the big brother no matter what, he was totally on board with a girl. You wonder how their little minds work, don't you?!)

Anyway, we did a lot of the things that Votemom said "It might not always be fun, but in our family we still love each other and take care of each other." I must say though that my DS has really stepped up to the plate. I am *so* proud of how he's been acting. He's needed a little extra attention and we've tried to make some "big brother allowances." (He gets to stay up 1/2 hour later than she does. We put some cool new shelves in his room for him to keep his "big boy toys" that he doesnt want her to touch, etc.) But he's really surprised me. He also likes to feed her cheerios and make her laugh -- he gets a big kick out of the fact that she laughs at his silly antics!

That's not to say that it's been totally smooth sailing. He seems to need his attention at the same time she needs something. He did tell me once that he wanted her to "go away" and that he didn't want to be five, he wants to be three. So we had a nice talk and he seems to be doing better. I keep waiting for the novelty to wear off and the other shoe to fall, but we've been home three weeks and <knock wood> it's going better than I could have imagined.

I also think "psyching myself up" that the first six months would be *really* hard and I would probably be questioning my sanity has helped. Even on the rough days I can still say "It's a lot better than I imagined!"

Good luck! Hope you get news soon!

Kim