[andraya]

hello all,

I am fairly new here and haven't posted anything this far. I am a birth mom to a wonderful boy who will be 11 this November. He was adopted at 3 after much turmoil and hardships in our lives. I just knew he needed a better home than I could provide. I also have a 7 year old daughter who I co-parent along side her father.

My problem now is that I have found myself pregnant again and am very fearful, not about parenting or even about the birth but that this child will also be a boy. I am also a reunited adoptee and would love to ask my own bmom about it but she had my sister only 17 months after me and honestly can only remember thinking that she would be allowed to raise her, my sister's gender never became an issue. My sister has three boys of her own and I must admit that I find it hard to see them, mostly the eldest, because of the strong resemblance to my son.

The closer I come to my due date, January 31, 2006, and my next ultrasound on October 18, the more afraid I become. Our family has such strong genetics, I look like my mom, my son looks like me, my daughter looks like my sister and her boys well they are all so similar to my Justin. I had awful post partum depression after my daughter and truly felt I was unworthy of parenting. The only saving grace was that she was a girl. I just don't know how I will be able to handle holding another boy if he was to look like Justin.

Has anyone else been fearful of having another child after placing one?