[alwaysus]

We have adopted 2 boys that my sister in law gave birth to. ( one adoption is pending~ Should be done this month!)
Family adoptions are very hard. But they can work out. Right now our sons birth mother is in prison. She will be till the youngest is about 6 years old. The elder of the two will be 11 or there abouts.
While she was out of prison, she had regular contact. In our home, supervised only. As soon as she had a positive drug test, all visits were cancelled. I don't care who gave birth to them, I will not allow someone hooted up on meth near my kids.
Now that she is incarcerated, we send pics every week and write letters. To be honest ( sorry if I offend) Sometimes I wish she would go away. She is such a strain on our family. We love her, but hate her addiction.
We have been honest with the boys about their adoption ( the youngest is only 3.5 months old, he doesn't understand yet) We never hid the adoption facts. Our son calls his birth mom Aunt T. She is my husbands sister so legally speaking she is his Aunt. My bio kids all call her Aunt T, so it stands to reason that they will as well. Just set your boundries and be firm but loving.
I agree 100% about not wanting to be Aunt/Uncle. We were unwilling to do that as well. At first she expected us to" Give Paul back to her" When she got out of prison the first time ( He was almost 3 when she got out) She finally realized that was unfair to Paul.The adoption was final when he was almost 2.Paul was 6 days old when he came to live with us. We picked up Elijah when he was 2 days old.
Good Luck!