I am so sorry you are dealing with this. The reality is that most IA adoptive moms do deal with these feelings at some point (this is a life changing event and for the most part we were clueless until it happened). For as long as most of us waited to become moms you would think that we would be in total bliss and dancing on clouds, then of course you feel soooo guilty for even thinking this way (we get pretty good at beating ourselves up). The truth is, it is really hard to go from zero kids to instant kid with no down time. You love this child to pieces but you are so overwelmed with everything that you start having the "I am a failure thought process" and it just snowballs (and of course you have all those wonderful family and friends that have never adopted telling you that "hey, this is what you wanted isn't it?'). Do not be afraid to get some help with this and Karen did post on this subject not too long ago. For me it turned out to be a eye opener to the fact that I needed to be home full time. Things turned around 100% for me after that and now I have a new normal at my house and things are good
! The best of luck with this, it will get better!