[Kasey]

Kathleen--vent away!!! I am so glad you are because so many people dont and keep it in.
Everything you are feeling and thinking is completely normal and I am sure almost everyone here has felt or feels the same way.
Here is what I think--for those of us who were married awhile and had/have careers, we were used to it just being us, getting all our work done, handling things, multitasking and still having our date nights and girls nights out for years--then it all changes over night--you go through all the emotions.
I was home for 3 months with Alek, it was great, I had lots of time with him, he took two naps, one I would nap with him, the other I would get work done, I cleaned, cooked, I was organized and having fun, I felt like June Cleaver!! It was great, then back to work--I kept trying to do it all because I was superwoman, June Cleaver/working mom--I totally crashed and burned!! I felt like you did, I couldn't get it all done and I was taking it out on DH, but mainly I was mad at myself because I thought I was incompetent--I finally had to take a step back and realize what was important. Spending time with Alek when I get home!!
One thing--no laundry for me during the week--DH and I take turns throwing loads in and folding on sat and sunday mornings.
Keep dinners simple and easy, less than 30 minutes to prepare.
Cleaning--dusting and vacuuming again wait until the weekends (still working on DH to let me get a cleaning lady!!), but we take turns.
When I let go and realized I didn't need to do this all to be happy and that my son could care less if the laundry was done or my windows were sparkling clean, it was easier to just come home and relax. Working together with DH helps too, he realizes that he has to do more housework, so I cook, he does dishes, he plays with Alek while I cook and I get the little man when he cleans up. It has been so much nicer now.
As for the clutter, my dining room has now become the clutter room, because I can shut the doors, so they excess junk mail, magazines, stuff from Alek's school all goes there and is dealt with on weekends.
The only thing we definitely do is clean up the family room and mainly that consists of putting toys in the toys box and books back in his shelf--I used to try and do that perfectly, now it doesn't matter, it never mattered to Alek either, he has more fun digging thru the box to see what he can find.
Talk with your DH and see if you guys can work together on some things to help alleviate your stress, get out when you can , even if it is for a quick movie or dinner.
No one is grading you on this so you don't have to prove anything to anyone, just make things easier on yourself!!
if you make changes and are still feeling blue, dont hesitate in discussing it with your doc or ask for a referral!! It is great you are talking about it and you are not alone!!!