Well on the counseling thing... counseling is not for everyone.. and IMO isnt very helpful unless you are at the point that you WANT it... If she doesnt want it... then I dont think it is unfortunate.
That said.
I dont think that having the agency do the dirty work is the way to go, either.
When weighing the pressure... I would probably keep in mind that pressure or not sometimes we do things that we dont want to simply because it is the right thing to do. And ultimately that is up to you to decide what that is... along with the birthmom. Im assuming open adoption means open adoption and the agency isnt acting as a go between.... if that is the case... close or not...then just as she chose you to parent... you guys took her circumstances on, too.
Probably ultimately you may never be that close like you said... but then again.. you never know.. maybe you might. Just do what feels right at each given moment. You dont HAVE to make rules for the rest of your life right now.
Talk to her.. and then assess the situation after... you can imagine a million different things right now.. .but none of them may be what actually plays out...
