[almost_there]

I posted a thread a while back, about a similar situation. We had two children that we had for quite sometime and had thought they were staying with us forever....one month ago, they left to Virginia with their family, we will never see them again. The first week was devastating, I am not sure how I would have gotten through it with out help from my family and friends. Each person is different and for me- keeping busy was my therapy. I did what I could to help myself move forward. I originally took down all the pictures, changed the rooms- I didn't want anything the same. But, I am gradually putting pictures back up, they were a huge part of my life and although somedays the pictures make me cry...they mostly make me smile now, those were happy times. Those were times that I made a difference in their lives and helped make them who they are and who they will be. They did the same to me, and although it is a hard concept to grasp...it was all for a reason. I stay busy...very, very busy I make things up for me to do so that I don't stop and have time to think about them and regress. I also have 2 other children that we are fostering (one we are hoping to adopt) that I am focusing on. At first I had my guard up...you will too, you will think that you can't ever love like that again or put your heart out there. But...I think you will. You are strong...not necessarily by choice, but you are strong. So many people could never do what you did to begin with. The pain is horrible, but what you have done for those kids lives and for your own is priceless. Life isn't fair...I have found that out so much the last several months, the states system doesn't always work for the kids or for the foster families that love them. It is a hard thing to swallow...but you have to what you can to move forward (and by forward I don't mean moving on...or forgetting them), for you and for the kids. I wish you all the best, and if you want to talk, and need someone to just listen, I am here.