[maggie_va]

You know I looked through your online journal and honestly it saddened me ---

Please consider using these boards to do some research on adoption and especially the adoption of older children as well as the issues that adoptees may face as they grow up and as adults.

From your journal, it appears that these girls have both a mother and older sisters in the picture who didn't jump at the idea of placing the girls for adoption. You state the mother is in prison and that the prison is a horrible place. Perhaps what keeps the mother going is the thought of being reunited with her daughters? Third world justice can be iffy so who knows why she really ended up in prison - no money for the court system perhaps? How will you feel explaining to the girls that though there mother didn't want to relinquish her rights you strong armed her into it (the getting the lawyer to visit and "convince" her) What about the story the mother will tell the girls? What if she says that she was in a bad situation and she felt forced into surrendering her rights?

Showing up with lots of nice toys and taking them out to lots of fun places makes you seem like "summer camp" - fun and exciting but not permanent. How will they feel once they have left their own country and their family and there are no special gifts everyday or special trips?

I have not doubt that you have the best of intentions but I can't help but wonder if you don't feel a sense of "we are saving these poor girls from their terrible life" . Adoption should never burden a child with a lifetime commitment of thankfulness for being "saved".

On a more practical note, for privacy reasons, it might be nice to not use their real names on your website but use initials or a fake name. And to be honest, as a parent, I would would want to know if someone was posting pictures of my child on the Internet. Also, don't fool around with immigration. If you are intent on bringing them here on a student visa or any kind of visa (with the excpetion of the adoption visas), get the help of an experienced immigration attorney here in the US.

Maggie