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Maybe-- so it doesnt ruin the whole visit-- you can tell her.. and then give her a letter (hand written-- not computer) telling her what you will be looking for from your relationship and what you would like to see happen. So that she can take that and read it and then respond to you.
Just remember to think about your child in all of this.. because ultimately it is his or her relationship that you are just watching over for him or her.
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