[clshepherd]

My DH and I are moving out of state, from Alaska to Tenn. Since the first time we met the bmom, we told her that this was in our plans - and expected it to take place Spring 2006. Opportunities have just come up and our house has just sold at the same time - so we will be leaving around the end of October.

I'm looking for help in telling the bmom this - as she has been having a hard time lately and is reluctant to seek professional help. We have encouraged her to do this multiple times, knowing that this time would come and how hard it would be for her.

Just a note, we haven't waited to tell her, but it is all happening fast -opportunities have just come up at this beginning of this week - and things are flowing. We plan to tell her next weekend when we visit in person.

We did also talk in the beginning about our move and how the relationship would change - to letters/pics via mail. She has asked about visiting once we move - and I'm sorta open to that. I just don't want to be expected to either pay her costs or to provide a place to stay, etc. We just don't have that close of a relationship and I'm not thinking that it will ever be that way. Bmom still doesn't make the best choices in life - ie employed at a known drug distribution point when she is in recovery herself. ugh.

We just want the best for her and to be able to remain open for our dd - but at the same time we need to protect our family from the chaos that is part of her life.

Thanks for listening.